Typical Scottish April weather we’ve been having here. Maybe a wee bit nippier than usual.
There’s sunshine when it’s raining, then lowering grey skies, then wee blue patches. Always changeable, very breezy.
You need to be prepared for all possibilities, and go nowhere without a waterproof, a hat, scarf and gloves.
Life’s like that too, isn’t it? Changeable.
You need to be prepared, you need warm clothes to hug around yourself.
Visiting family from our adopted country half a world away is always emotional. Leaving has been very hard, very painful, thee last few times.
Farewelling much-loved family is one of the few things that certainly doesn’t come easier with age.
It’s been getting harder and harder.
My emotions feel like velcro, and part of me has to be ripped away when we leave to return to home in Sydney.
And honest to God, I don’t mind getting older myself, but I’m really not happy about the old folks here getting older.
I so regret leaving the beloved oldies; my aunts and uncles and our in-law great granny and the grandparents on both sides.
And the wee ones too, the nieces and nephews, the cousins’ children… and this is all without even talking about friends.
I’ve come and gone from Scotland since I was 18 years old, and have lived in Sydney permanently for the past almost 16 years.
These days, all the family dysfunction that I had to get away from… It’s all gone. There’s no more. And that’s changed how I feel about coming back and then leaving. There’s no relief to get away any more. Just sadness.
On the upside, we’ve been reassured that my Mum has recovered well from some ill health early in the year. And we’ve seen her lovely new house, seen her garden which is poised to flourish. That’s been wonderful.
Other relatives are unwell, and it feels very, very wrong to be leaving them.
And my dear brother. As we get older I feel worse and worse about not being a regular part of his life. I would really love to see him more and be any help that I can. Would love to hear him play his guitar more.
Alastair is well cared for these days, he’s safe and as well as a man can be who has such severe schizophrenia. It’s all wrong to leave him.
So being here has been all sunshine and rain, just like the weather. And leaving will be so rough.
Which still doesn’t mean that I don’t want to go. In fact, I’m desperate to see Teen16 and wee Rusty Rocket. And to be home in Sydney.
These two and a bit weeks have felt like a much, much longer time, in fact. It had been too long and it won’t be so long again.
Haste ye back, as the Scottish farewell goes.
Think of us on Saturday night and Sunday as we fly the long miles back home.
I’ll be the one sobbing, the kids will be handing me hankies.
See you back in Sydney.
