Suffering is optional?
I’ve seen the quote above dozens of times on Facebook and Instagram. Usually it’s anonymous, sometimes some would-be wise person claims it as their own.
And whilst the meaning is clear… we chose how much we suffer because of the inevitable difficulties and disasters we face… it just doesn’t ring true for me….
That’s not my experience of life.
People suffer when there’s pain… I suffer when there’s family chaos, uncertainty and distress.
What I work on is the degree of suffering… on reining in the ‘Poor me’ laments.
Currently there’s plenty of chaos here as Casa Catastrophe, and there’s uncertainty.
Teenagers being… typical teenagers…. I can’t say more except that it involves splitting time between two cities and a fair whack of worry.
Son with ASD struggling a lot some days.
Husband looking for work which means that I don’t know where he might have to go off to… and there’s a strong chance we all might have to move far, far away….
I do call my friends in tears and when we meet, they hear a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Thank you lovely, kind and wise chums. Your listening to my woes helps me get them out, out, out of my head. I need to express some pain to get rid of it.
A friend yesterday talked to me about my issues with authority (thanks Dad) and discussing that with her has thrown light on a huge life issue for me and has also helped the winds of change start to whistle their way through.
The trick is not staying stuck in the pain.
I’m talking, talking, talking and swimming, swimming, swimming… and slowing down… putting family connection first.
All this is healing and calming.
So, I’m not beating myself up for the circling thoughts and sleepless nights. There’s no glossing over real life.
Am just aiming not to get caught up in it, and not to buy into it, not to believe in it.
Friends are my salvation and gratitude, starting with giving thanks to them.
Is suffering optional for you?
What are your methods of dealing with life’s pains?